Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
