Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
