if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is my gift to your gina
I can't put those talents on a resume
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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