walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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