I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
