meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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