Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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