O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
