please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
