i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
