I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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