how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
