we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Never underestimate the power of titties
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
