So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
