on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
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