It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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