So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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