go do what you do best...puke behind churches
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
