This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
