we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
two words: eviction party
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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