You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
