: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
