OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
