its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
