Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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