Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
