I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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