you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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