Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
