your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
