I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you win again, gameday.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
