I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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