it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
