You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
