how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
