Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
