Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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