We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
