The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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