OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
