apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
