If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
