remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
