He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
