I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
