belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
