Me too!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
