he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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