I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
