I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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