Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
