It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
