i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Bring me that man meat
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
