Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
