He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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